It's 3 in the morning and I'm up. A little bit anxious yes because tomorrow will be the day where I start to receive my medication for NMO. It's weird because I feel like I have alot riding on this. When you look at you future you never want to look at it in a negative light. You want to see youself happy and successful doing whatever it is you wanted to do. That's what drives you to achieve and forfull your dreams and goals. For the past couple of months my future in my mind has looked so dark if I were to put my hand up in front of my face I wouldn't see it. But this week has been different I've started having thoughts of hope and progress and thoughts of a future where I can once again accomplish the things I've always wanted to. The thing is that scares the hell out out of me because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. It's like my mind attempts to be optimist but because of my past experiences its hard to let go of the pessimist state of mind. I don't know which way to lean. All I can do is hope for the best, but i would lying if I said my mind wasn't all over the place about this.
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